Andrew Kemp's blog

From the "OMGWTF" files of my life:

My day job is in apartment property management and, yes, it sucks. Please be kind to your leasing agent or property manager, because they are hated in the eyes of God. No sense in piling on.

Anyway, we recently had a round of evictions at my property for residents that had gone two or more months without paying rent, and one of the apartments featured a real batch of winners. College-age, scruffy faced, tattered hat, poker-table-as-coffee-table, empty beer bottle collection guys. Guys that get arrested by the marshal performing the eviction because they had enough weed to stuff a pillow. Those kinds of guys.

After the eviction, my manager and I entered the apartment for the final inspection. Beyond the general filth and stickiness inside the apartment, another key feature jumped up and got my attention. A thick, sedimentary layer of porn. Pornography. Teh pr0n. I can’t properly do justice in print to the insane amount of fake 2-D boobs and ass that leered at me from every wall, closet, and square inch of floor space in the apartment. These guys had a sickness for it.

While I’m processing the staggering cost of this abandoned collection, a thought crossed my mind. In the upcoming $1000 Feature Film, there’s a specific scene involving (EDITOR’S NOTE: CLASSIFIED), and the walls inside that location are supposed to be covered in this exact, trashy style of porn. If I managed to heist some of this stuff, then we wouldn’t have to spend money to buy it – obviously a big plus.

Thus hatched the Great Georgia Porn Liberation of ’08.

This morning, about 5:30 AM California time, this year's Oscar nominations hit the internet. This is a national holiday for me, and also a starting gun -- I have between rightnow and the date of the show to see as many as I can of the nominated films I'd previously missed.

As my title suggests, there are several odd bumps on this year's list, and the entire event is buried under a steaming pile of writer's strike rhetoric. It's going to be a strange year. But it's also probably the most solid year, top-to-bottom, since the mid 90's.

Here are my initial reactions to the nominations in various categories:

Best Picture: Aha! This is the first year I can remember where I've seen all five nominees by the day they're announced. Juno, There Will Be Blood, No Country For Old Men are all possibilities right now, but I think it's probably going to come down to Juno and No Country, as I think many Oscar voters will be turned off by the dour attitude of Blood. No Country might get knocked due to its violence, but The Departed won last year, so why not? Atonement is traditional Oscar bait (ala The English Patient) but it has a terrible third act and is generally overrated. Michael Clayton is the only one here that could come close to being a surprise. It won't win, but it really is a honor to be nominated this year in such a competitive season.

This represents only my second shot at a true, annual Top Ten, and it’s a great deal more comprehensive than before. Of course, there were several dozen major films I missed in 2007, but I skipped fewer critical favorites than in ’06, when I fumbled to post my list before I’d seen my eventual numbers 1 and 2 (Pan’s Labyrinth and Children of Men.) This year, the list was not closed until I’d seen every film that I knew I would have to.

Naturally, this list -- or any paid critic’s Top Ten -- remains an arbitrary, mostly juvenile exercise. It’s illogical at best to declare one great film inherently better than another great film, as each is its own, unique country. But still, we film nerds persevere, giddily slaving away at our personalized bullet-point breakdowns. (Personalized, that is, but strangely identical. Rarely do you see a Top Thirty-Eight, or a Top Two. The base-10 counting system looms over us, snapping its whip, and denying us that lump of warmth-giving coal.) I think the reason we film whores are compelled to share our lists is the same as the mountain climber’s mantra – because it’s there. Or, more accurately, we’ve put a lot of work into watching these movies and, goddammit, someone is going to know about it.

Now, my list of the Top Ten Films of 2007:

Welcome, world, to the all-new all-different Digitribe Productions website. I do hope you'll stick around, check out our projects, and get involved in our growing community of indie artists, musicians, writers, filmmakers, fans, and whatever else you want to throw at us. Into performance art centered around pork products? Bring it, bacon warrior.

In the coming months, you'll most often see my name associated with the super sekrit "$1,000 Feature". The idea behind the 1KF is to prove that budget and resources -- while very, very helpful -- are not the most important ingredients in a feature film. Instead, a good film is made by talent, dedication, and ideas. A good film is made by crafting an interesting story and telling it well. I believe this without reservation, and I consider it each time I see a $100 million blockbuster that sucks canal water, or a tiny indie that blows my f'n mind.

I'll have more to say about the 1KF as the weeks go on. Keep your eyes on this blog, as well as the project folder for updates and production diaries.

Welcome again to the new site. Let's shake the pillars of heaven...